Things Are Starting To Fall Into Place

Today, I would like to say, that I start my job at the hospital on the 14th of this month (in a little over a week). I had planned on waiting, and saving a few of my paychecks to put a nice down payment on a car, but today (now yesterday), while I was car shopping and weighing my options, I was offered a deal that I could not pass up. See, the last couple of months, while the hospital has been processing all my paperwork and all to get me in, I have been doing some research on cars. I had a few things in mind, that were important to me in my choice for a car. First, the car had the have a good safety rating. Second, the car needed to have good, if not great gas mileage. Third, it had to be $13,000 or less, so I could afford the monthly payments. Fourth, it needed to be a newer model that had not had the wheels driven off it. Fifth, the car I wanted needed to retain it's value because one day, when I decide to trade it in, it would still be valuable. I've researched vehicles from different dealers, and I made sure I got my facts online, so I wouldn't be talking to a sales rep who may or may not be stretching the truth just a bit. I had my favs narrowed down to a Toyota Yaris or a used Prius, a Ford Fiesta, or a Hyundai Accent. I went to the Toyota dealership just to browse, and I looked at their cars under 10, and I wasn't really feeling those cars, so I asked the saleman, if he had a '08 Yaris around 11, and he said no, but he one for $12,900, if I wanted to look at it. I agreed because I've been leaning toward the Yaris for a while now. It really fit all of my requirements in a car. It's a beautiful car, and in great shape. It gets around 40mpg, which is awesome. It was $0 down, and it's $270 a month. : )Here's a sneak peak of my car!:
This girl, is going to get me through school, back and forth to clinicals, and my first few years as a nurse, plus all of Joshua's appointments and him back and forth to school. I am so ecstatic!

Soon as I can, I am rejoining a gym, not sure which one, but definately doing so. I've already lost 25lbs. on my own and I want to keep going. I want to get in the best shape of my life. I also plan to get year memberships to the Tallahassee Museum, the Flint RiverQuarium, and may be Wild Adventures (not sure about that one yet, definately depends on what they have to offer since the last time I went). Joshua will definately enjoy himself. I have a few other plans, but they'll wait a bit longer because school and work are going to take up a lot of my time and spending all the time I possibly can with Joshua while I am doing that. This year is definately looking positive!

Our Late Valentine's Day Celebration

This past Saturday, Jodie and I celebrated a late Valentine's day in Panacea, FL. A place I have been going to since I was a little girl. We first stopped by The Coastal and had lunch. Yummy scallops and clams for me, and shrimp for Jodie. I love that place, and I always have, even when it was known as The Crystal, years and years ago. After lunch we went across the bridge that crosses over Ochlocknee Bay and went to a beach I had found when I was pregnant with Joshua. It is near Bald Point State Park and it has a beautiful view of the Gulf. We spent about two hours walking along the beach and collecting seashells for my little collection, which ended up being a contest who could find the most unique shells, most complete, and then the largest. lol. I, of course found the largest and the most unique. We also ran across a large jellyfish on our stroll; I did not know what kind it was at the time, but when I got home I did some research and found put it was a Mushroom Cap jellyfish. This jellyfish does not have the long stringy stingers that you see on most jellyfish, it actually has short finger like ones that hang just below it's fringe and it's sting only causes mild pain to humans and is harmless(not that I would recommend trying to picking one up. Because really, who wants to have to be peed on to neutralize the pain?). It was a very amazing animal to see because you usually only see the Comb jellies, which are not true jellyfish, and you can pick them up without any consequences, other than them feeling like a wad of snot (ewwwwwww....). The jellyfish made it back out into the deep water and danced gracefully in the current as it made it's way back out to sea and got the chance to see another day. I think Jodie enjoyed seeing a side of me that does not come out very often. One who wasn't stressing and loves being one with nature. It was very relaxing and I do believe it is the first time we spent a whole day out together alone. It may have been a little late celebrating, but it is definitely the best Valentine's Day ever!

Has It Really Been 5 Years, Already?!

So... I know it has been ages since I last blogged, but I figured I needed to start because soon, I know I will have plenty to write about, and figured I'd post something now to get started in this New Year.

Joshua turn 5 years old just a few weeks ago, and I cannot believe that the time has passed as quickly as it has. He's so very intelligent and the smartest child I have ever met especially for his age. He's learning math, yes, MATH! He can add and subtract single digits very well, and it took him about 2 maybe 3 weeks to learn to do this! Now we are working some teens and 20s into the mix, and he has been doing very well thus far. He can count to 100 like a pro! He's also reading extremely well, and it amazes me and everyone who has seen him read some of his books aloud. I had said before he was really good at reading just basic words and then he became the master of spelling, his favorite word to spell is "xylophone" which he could spell at 3 1/2 years! Now can you imagine how easy it has been to get him reading since he started doing that? He speaking a little more now, usually repeating a short phrase he has heard over and over again. My mom answered one of his math problems he called out a few nights ago, and he told her "Great job! You deserve a star!" I'm not kidding!

I recently went through his clothes...again! This time his dresser was looking pretty bare. He has grown 5 inches in the last 6 months! He is now 3ft. 9in. tall and weighs 50lbs.! I bought clothes 2 sizes up last year so he'd have some growing room, and most of it is either perfect length or starting to get to short. His appetite surpasses mine by 3x, so when these growth spurts come along... look out refrigerator because here comes Joshua! I remember a couple of weeks ago I made brocolli for dinner, and I gave everyone a serving. Well, Joshua went back for seconds, thirds, then forths, then finished up with a fifth! Plus he ate everything else that was already on his plate!!!

We threw Joshua a Dr. Seuss themed birthday party this year, and I had to get creative because for some reason or another, no one in this area carries Dr. Seuss themed party supplies, and I didn't want to order off the internet because I was on a very limited budget. I used some stuffed Dr. Seuss characters of Joshua's as props and used bright colors. Here are some pictures from his birthday:

~INVITATIONS~

~The Poster I Made~

~Joshua Blowing Out His Candles~

~The Card I LUCKED Up On In The Bradfordville WalMart~

~Devilled Eggs w/ Green Food Coloring & Ham~

~Multi-Colored Goldfish Crackers~

~Cat In The Hat Parfaits and Thing 1 & Thing 2 Red Velvet Cupcakes~

~The Goody Bags~

~I Bought Him "The Grinch Grinches The Cat In The Hat"~

~A New Book~

Unfortunately... yeah I said it unfortunately, we did not have but a few people show up after I did my pre-party head count (which we were definately expecting more people), and the ones who were the definates did not have the courtesy to call prior to the party, which means I am really glad I gave up on decorating when I did and did not spend the excess efforts trying to perfect everything. Seriously now, pissed would be an understatement. Still haven't from these people yet to this day with atleast an apology. I cannot understand why I try my best to show people I really care and love them and their children, and they can't atleast call, text, or FB me? Don't I atleast deserve that much?
Anywho... I want to thank my mom and grandma who came, our friends Ash & Ben and their kids for coming. I also want to thank Hallie for sending Joshua a gift even though she and her family could not make it, and it was very thoughtful and Joshua loves them! I also want thank Rhay for getting Joshua something aswell, and he loves it as well. Yes, thank you so very much guys! Shows who really is there for you in the long run & I love them for that, and they know that we will be there for them when they want or need us to be! (& those of you who are not on my good list at the moment, I have nothing against your children, just you, and I won't punish them for the b.s.. Have a nice day! :D)

Before I end this, I want to thank the few of you again, and hope we will be seeing each other in the very near future for good times to make many great memories! I'm hoping I can start doing my super happy dance in a week and a half, if human resources hurries and gets things done by then. Then I know I will have another great thing to blog about! YAY!

Just An Update

It's been a couple of weeks since I last updated, so I figured I might as well catch everyone up. May 28th was Jodie & my 4 year anniversary, we've been dating for 4 whole years and I am so very happy to have him in our life. We didn't actually get to celebrate like we wanted too, we WERE going to go down to St. George Island for the weekend, BUT it was Memorial Weekend and the inn had DOUBLED their prices which was absolutely ridiculous, since it's just a basic inn with cement walls and a bed and bathroom and they wanted $150 a night to stay and since it was a holiday they required a two night stay. I think those people done lost their freakin' mind! Jodie ended up working both his jobs that Friday and didn't get off til' after 7pm, so we didn't get to spend any time together until Saturday night. My mom kept Joshua Saturday night, and we went to Rodizio's South American Grill in Tallahassee, which is by far the best food around. They have 15 kinds of meat (beef, pork, chicken, turkey, lamb, and seafood), and they come around to your table with these huge skewers and cut of pieces for you, and you can eat all that you want and it's $30 a person (not including drinks), and you eat by candle light. It's a really great restraunt and I recommend it to anyone! We went to Books-A-Million afterward and messed around a bit with the Alice In Wonderland gear, and Jodie bought me one of the Sookie Stackhouse books, "Living Dead In Dallas". From there on we went to the video store, went home, watched a movie and cuddled. YAY!!! We're hoping we can make a short trip to SGI here soon to make up for missing it on our anniversary, so I'm crossing my fingers, if not, we'll be going around the 4th of July for a couple of days with his family.

This past weekend we stayed indoors most of the weekend, since it has been storming off and on for about 2 weeks straight, so the pool was out of commision for Joshua this weekend. We went to Wal-Mart and bought the new Alice In Wonderland, which was really great. Tim Burton did an EXCELLENT job on it, and Johnny Depp was a great Mad Hatter. I used that $10 off coupon for the Blu-Ray & DVD combo pack, so we paid the same price as the DVD by itself. I've been cutting coupons lately for groceries and stuff, and we saved over $20 from the coupons on the things we always need and buy, and I got the new Twilight Saga book "The Short Second Life Of Bree Tanner" by Stephenie Meyer which a portion of the proceeds got to the American Red Cross.

Joshua is talking so much lately, he'll be watching something and will go "Dang!", it's so cute. He repeats a lot of what he hears around him, so we have to be careful what we say around him. His therapist said he had the best day ever the other day in speech, he named all the animals, 15 verbs, and used some "ing" words. I'm so glad he's doing better, and hopefully we'll have him ready for school this coming up year, if not this year, he'll definately be going next year.

Well, that's about all for now. I've got some reading to do, and need to actually make my way to bed after to washing machine goes off. : )

The Evil In People

This past Friday, I come to find out some horrible news about the white baby pony we were going to buy for Joshua. My mom called me from work, and said that Kathleen (the lady we take riding lessons from & buy our horses) told her that someone had came into the pony pen in the middle of the night a couple days before, and had tried to steal this sweet little pony. In the process, she probably put up a fight, and they ended up SNAPPING HER NECK and leaving her dead by the side of the road! One of Kathleen's neighbors woke her up about 4am that morning, and told her that they had found the pony. I am so very upset by this; Joshua really enjoyed playing with this pony, who was only about 8 months old, and she would follow Joshua around like a puppy. Come to find out, someone came back Thursday night, and tried to break in again because the gate was standing wide open and there were truck tire prints in the driveway that didn't belong to any of her vehicles! Kathleen says that she hasn't noticed anyone else missing, so that is the only good news out of it all. We now have to work fast to put up a fence here at the house, and borrow a horse trailer to move Expresso and Pheonix before something possibly happens to them. I cannot believe how mean some people are and just down right evil.

*She Was Such A Sweetheart*

*We'll Miss Her*

Joshua's Silliness

In the past couple of weeks, Joshua has done... well, said, a few things that have been pretty funny. One of them was a misunderstanding by a bystander, and the other was thankfully not heard by anyone, but me. I figured this would be a good start to a new blog.

*My Silly Lil' Boo*

A couple of weeks ago, we were shopping and as always Joshua is in the basket of the buggy, talking up a storm (most of it in his own lil' language). Joshua happened to be counting, 1 , 2 , 3, 4! Well, Joshua has a little bit of a problem with the number FOUR, and it sounds just like "whore" sadly enough for those who probably think we are teaching him ugly language. Well, as he was counting we happened to come up behind a little old lady when he got to the number four (whore)... She had heard him and I guess she thought he was calling her a whore and that she hadn't heard his counting, and she turned and looked at him in disbelief and walked off!!! Ooops!

About a week ago we were in Pizza Hut for dinner, and as we were leaving there was this really "curvy" girl who walked in wearing this really form fitting GREY dress on that she really shouldn't have been wearing. As we were walking by, Joshua pointed at her and calls, "elephant!", thankfully the way he says elephant comes out sounding close to "apple pie", even though it has been getting a lot clearer, someone who isn't around him much probably wouldn't pick-up on the "elephant". Thankfully the girl was to busy running her mouth off to one of her buddies to have caught wind. I about lost it, and tripped over the bench that is just inside the door trying not to laugh. We've never had an issue with him name calling, and I suspect it's probably him talking about the dress being grey like an elephant because he calls anything that has black & white stripes, a zebra, but it was still pretty funny.

Mother's Day was good. Joshua & Jodie bought me a beautiful bouquet of flowers. We spent part of the day at Jodie's grandma's house and the other part with his mother, step-bro and step-sis playing the wii.

My mom ended up working that day. After she got off we had to go check on the horses. Expresso and Phoenix had a visit from the ferrier the day before, and we found out that Expresso has another absess (an infection) in his back left foot. Crazy horse cannot go with out something being wrong. This is his second absess, the first was in his front right foot. He's had a split hoof, but that is thankfully fixed how. Expresso will be a year old this coming Saturday, the 15th, which happens to be the day after my birthday. Our FOUR year anniversary is coming up, and Jodie and I are planning on heading to SGI for a couple of days for some well needed personal time together. I can't wait!

A "Mommy" For 16 Hours...

Yesterday evening we headed to the lake to let Joshua run off some excess energy. Well, we didn't quite make it to the lake, we actually made it half way down the block right before you turn to go down to the road that goes to the lake, and we had to make a U-turn. My mom noticed a baby bird dancing in the center line of Pinetree Blvd, and the traffic was pretty because it was about 7pm, and everyone was getting off work and headed out for dinner. Joshua had a meltdown in the backseat of course, but we just couldn't let this little bird get ran over. As soon as we turned to go back, the baby bird flopped right towards the tire of a big SUV, and missed it by less than an inch. I could have swore he actually went under the tire, but when we parked in the middle of the road, the baby was still flopping around. I waited for traffic to pass on my side of the truck, and soon as I had the chance, I jumped out and ran towards the helpless creature in the middle of this busy road. I scooped him up, and walked back to the truck. I got several strange glances by people passing by and I had one nice man ask, if we had broke down. When I got back in, we headed to the house to get something to put the lil' one down in, and I got one of Joshua's old shoe boxes that had a fold over lid, and stuck my well worn shirt that I've had since I was 7 in the box to keep him warm and cozy. I've always used that shirt to sleep in and it's had it's wear and tear, and was definately time to retire the shirt, my mom joked about it being like a "staple in my life", but it's just one I've never tossed out. We went back into town and tried both pet stores, which was no success because they both were closed when we got to them, so we headed to Wal-Mart to see if we could find something that would improvise til' we could get him to someone who knew what they were doing or until we could get to an actual pet store with baby bird food. Blood worms(dehydrated), bird vitamins, a couple drops of milk, a pair of tweezers and an eyedropper later, the baby bird got his first meal before we settled him down for the night. He spent the night inside the shoebox in my t-shirt drawer, so that no one (Joshua or one of the cats) could get to him, plus it's nice and warm inside the drawer which is good for baby birds who are supposed to be kept at temps around 86*F. He got another couple of meals this morning, when we got the call from a lady who works along side Clanton's Veterinary Hospital to take the baby and drop him/she off. I'm really glad that we were able to find someone to take the bird that does that kind of thing for a living because I don't know how well I could hold up having to feed it every 3 to 4 hours (except from midnight to about 5am when they sleep), and having Joshua jumping around constantly. Joshua doesn't understand he has to be gentle around tiny animal babies. All in all, it was a good 16 hour experience. We saved a life, and hopefully the bird will stay away from roads when he is released back into the wild.

*On The Way To It's New Home*

Short Update...

The last couple of weeks have been slow, but I figured I'd update on what little bit has been going on. Easter was fun, Joshua and I spent it with Jodie and his family. Joshua is an Easter egg hunt pro this year. He found over 40 eggs out of about 135. I was suprised that he needed little assistance this year; the only help he really needed was when his bucket got to heavy for him to carry. We let everyone else have his boiled eggs because Joshua will not eat them, and I really don't have much room in the fridge for deviled eggs. He racked up though, and he even received a basket from Brady & Luke with a cute lil' bunny in it.

The past few weeks my mom has been looking at buying a house with acreage, and we've found one, but we're waiting on approval from the city to put the horses on the land before she jumps into a contract with them. The house is beautiful, but it needs some work (mostly cosmetic work), and it was built in 1922. We're really hoping no one makes an offer on the house before the city's next meeting at the beginning of May because we really love the house and it has plenty of space and plenty of room for the horses (if we're granted permission to have them on the land). We've been looking around at Home Depot and Lowe's to get ideas for the house, and we've gotten some, but we haven't made any purchases yet incase we don't get the house.

Joshua racked up on some more Thomas gear. We found him another set of pj's at Target, and a magazine and a large puzzle floor mat at Lowe's. We've definately decided that his room will have a Train theme, not really focused on Thomas because he will probably grow out of him eventually. We're still working on potty training. It's still tough, and he doesn't go unless he's bottomless, except for yesterday when we were at Captain D's and you could just see the look on his face that he had to GO! And he went!!! Yay!!! I e-mailed both the city and the county special needs directors in the preschools about a week ago, and so far only the county has answered my message. I asked about the potty training issues we were having with Joshua, and if it would affect his ability to attend the school because I have heard so many times that the preschools would not allow a child to attend the school unless they were fully potty trained. Well, Hand-In-Hand's special needs director told me that it would not be a problem for him to attend because they work with them on that, and to go ahead and register him so they can do an assessment on where they think he would fit in best at the school (basicly, if he would need to be just in special needs classes or he could be in an intergrated classroom). I don't want to go ahead and sign him up because I want to chose the BEST school that would attend to Joshua's needs and make sure he gets the help he needs to succeed. That's why I've asked his therapists to ask around for me and talk to the schools to see what each has to offer. One of his therapists actually knows one of the special needs teachers at Hand In Hand and said she would talk to her. I really want everyone's opinion on the schools, you know the pros and cons of each. I need insight from the parents who know what I mean. A school can sugarcoat something to make it seem better than it is, and that's why I want to know from those of you who know best! So please hit me up on Facebook or on here!!

Well, that's about all for now! Hope I'll get some feedback about the preschools soon!

Just Rambling...

I'm going to start from well, from about Friday, March, 19th, and continue from there...

March 19th... We had a fun day at the lake, and then we went to Tractor Supply to see the baby ducklings and chicks. So very sweet. I just wanted to take them all home with me. We went to wal-mart, and hung around til' the New Moon release at 12:01 AM, March 20th. I went to get in like about 5 minutes after they started letting the movies go. There was a line literally from the register in electronics all the way along the back wall through the toy section. & guess what?! I did NOT have to wait a single minute in that crazy line! & No I did not have a reserved copy. I saw one of the workers putting the movie up on another shelf, on the opposite end that the line was, and asked him if I could go ahead and get a copy, and sure enough he handed right to me!!! YAY!!! The only waiting I did was at the check-out line in the front of the store because they only had 3 lines open, and 2 of the 3 were those 20 items or less, and like usual, we had more than 20 items because we went in for groceries. I don't know what Wal-Mart was thinking, 3 lines... and there were at least a hundred people waiting in these ridiculous lines. I got home at 12:30 though, so I guess it wasn't too bad.

My lil' boo found him a plush duck that night too, and he's been sleeping with it ever since *he requires it to go to bed with him*. I also picked him out a shirt that says "Irish Girls Love Me". It's so cute. Really wish I could find him one that says "Asian Women Love Me". lol



This past Saturday, the 27th, Jodie, Joshua, & I went to Tallahasse, mainly to just get out of the house, and for Jodie to get a couple new handles for his Stiletto hammer (which only a FEW select stores in a hundred mile radius carry them, I think we figured about 3!). We went to Lake Ella and ate lunch, let Joshua play, and we took a stroll around the lake. After we left, we went to Chucky Cheese, which was a nightmare on Saturday afternoon because it was packed, but we made it work. Joshua had a great time, which is what mattered most. Sunday, we went and spent the day with Jodie's mom, and step-sis & step-bro, and we had fun. Jodie gave his grandma the book he bought her at Books-A-Million the day before. It was a pretty good weekend, but it seemed just too short. As of Sunday, it is only 2 more months 'til our 4 year anniversary! YAY!

Today, we went out to Ochlocknee to see our horses, and the NEW baby that was born at 2 am. We've never seen a newborn baby horse before. And she is so darn cute!!! The lady who gives Joshua riding lessons said that her name was probably going to be "Spice Girl", but would probably call her "Spicy". The new baby is Expresso's half-sister; they share the same dad, Starbuck. I just can't believe how soft her fur is, it feels like silk. And of course all the horses were jealous because everyone was focused on HER and not them. It's amazing how small she is compared to her parents and all the other horses, but I guess all babies are like that.

*Not Even A Day Old*

Joshua is still working on Potty Training. He still hasn't gotten the whole idea, of not going in his pants, so we still have to let him run around without bottoms during the day at the house, but he's definately doing so much better that he has been. He even stood up to pee one day like a big boy! I'm so proud of him, and I know he's proud of himself too! Joshua is also doing REALLY well with spelling, you can give him each letter of the alphabet and he can spell out & say each word without looking at ANYTHING!!! It's really amazing. ELEPHANT, ORANGE, & XYLOPHONE are 3 of his favorite words to spell. His therapists say that it's an autistic thing. Children with autism tend to read and spell a lot sooner than other children because it's concrete thinking, but they have trouble naming objects if the word is not spelled out for them. I'm just glad he's enjoying what he's doing, and I can't wait to see what else he's going to suprise me with!

*Joshua in his NEW Thomas pjs he got tonight*

Making Progress To Better Things!

If any of you noticed my feed yesterday on Facebook, you will know that Joshua has opened his eyes up to a whole light about the POTTY! I have been waiting so very long for him to get interested, and I've tried several times with no luck. I've tried everything I could think of to get him to learn to use the potty like a big boy, and finally I saw where one of my friend's had a hard time getting her little boy to use the potty, which resulted in her keeping him bottomless thanks to some of her friends' advice. I figured that if she had luck, may be I would get lucky too, and sure enough Joshua used the potty everytime yesterday while he was bottomless. It started Tuesday night when we were at my grandparents' house, and Joshua had somehow poked a hole into the pull-up that he was wearing and the jelly bead things had started falling out of it. (For those of you who have been wondering what that jelly beady stuff is, I found out on an episode of "Weather Proof" on the Weather Channel, and it is the exact same gel as they spray on houses to prevent them from being badly damaged during wild fires. I thought that was pretty interesting.) Anywho, back to what I was saying, I had to take his pull-up off and leave him with nothing while I ran out to the truck to get him another one. When I came back in, he was holding himself and saying, "Uh oh! Uh oh!", so I ran him to the bathroom figuring that may be this was his chance to catch on, and sure enough he did. He was so excited and began cheering, "YAY! Good job!", so very cute. That night I decided that this was the best time to start him on the bottomless idea, so the next day, St. Patrick's Day, he went without bottoms all day except for when he had to eat (I'd hate for him to have an accident while he's trying to eat). Let me tell you, he had ZERO accidents the whole time he went without bottoms. He still hasn't gotten the whole, don't go in your pull-up yet, but he is definately doing a lot better, and he's been enthusiastic about being a big boy!

*It's Potty Time!*

As for me, I've put myself on a diet. Basicly, it's eatting healthier and portion control. I started this about this time last week, and I have since then lost 4 lb., and as soon as it dries up outside, I'm going to start walking for atleast a hour every morning. I've got a large amount of weight that I'm hoping to lose, and hopefully it will be gone by the end of this year. I'm really crossing my fingers because I want to be happy with my body again, and be comfortable in it. It's just gonna be a long road getting to the finish line.

* The First Time He Has Actually Shown Interest In Swinging By Himself!*

*His FAVORITE Thing In The World!*

Before Joshua was even born, and only a baby inside my belly, I have been telling him that I love him and of how much love that I have for him. I have been dreaming of the day that Joshua would say it back, and just last week I finally heard those two sweet little words come from his lips. "Love you", which comes out as "Lub you", and it is the sweetest thing I ever heard. I was so happy and I am so glad to hear it every single day since then! One of the best days ever since I became a mommy!

Since then, he spilled out his first sentence, to an unexpecting girl at the grocery store, last Friday, "Hey! How are you?", unfortunately I did not witness this statement because I was shopping for groceries, and Jodie and Joshua were roaming around the store. Jodie thought it was the cutest and funniest thing ever. I did not get to hear Joshua's statement, until a few days ago. It was the first thing he said when I went to wake him up Monday morning. Awww!!!

Also, last Wednesday night, we were sitting in my mom's room settling down for bed. Joshua had his teddy bear that says each letter of the alphabet, and after each letter Joshua would say a word that began with each letter WITHOUT looking at anything. He has trouble with Xylophone, but we know that is what he is trying to say. He has learned ALOT of new words from his new V-Tech laptop that he got for his birthday, and he can even SPELL them!!! Amazing!

Some of you who don't know what's been going on with Joshua would not see these things as important as we do. The fact Joshua is even talking as much as he is lately is by no less a miracle in my eyes. Some children with Autism go YEARS without speaking, and I am so blessed that Joshua is not one of those children, he's high=functioning autistic. He has his days where he will not speak a word still, but not as bad as it has been in the past.

We went to Panacea a couple of weekends ago to celebrate my grandmother's belated 68th birthday. We've been going there for years for great seafood at The Coastal Restraunt. It doesn't look like much from the outside, but the food is excellent. Joshua put away more food than anyone at the table. I swear he turns into a blackhole sometimes the way he eats. I really do not know where he puts it all. He's such a picky eater (one of the issues he has because of his autism), but when he gets something he absolutely LOVES there usually isn't much of a worry of whether he will eat or not. My family used to go there years before I was born, my great-grandmother even had some property in Panacea years ago, and I have been going down there since I was a little girl, and Joshua had his first trip down there and camping trip when he was 3 1/2 months old.

*Joshua At One Of The Beaches In Panacea*

*My Grandparents At The Coastal*

*Waiting On Some Great Seafood*

Joshua doesn't know it yet, but we're planning on a trip to North Carolina at the end of July as we have been doing for the last 3 years, and a certain somebody, named Thomas, is coming to Bryson City, NC while we're up there on the Great Smoky Mountain Railroad. So we are crossing our fingers that nothing will interfere with our plans, so Joshua will finally be able to see Thomas the Tank Engine in person. He won't be coming to the Sam Shortline Railroad in Albany, GA 'til late October, so we have been looking for a sooner date. Six Flags actually has a Thomas theme park with their own Thomas train, but that is about all Joshua could enjoy there because of height limitations on the other rides, so Six Flags is out. So Bryson City it is unless, like I said, something comes up that will prevent us from going. : ) I can't wait to see the look on Joshua's face!! YAY!

Shake... Rattle... & Roll!

Today we took Joshua to see his pony, Phoenix, and let him ride. We walked several times around the fenced in area which is basicly a back yard & a driveway. The wind was blowing really hard out in the open, and with it being so cold, it felt like it the wind was cutting right through you at times. Everytime we go out to ride when it is cold outside, the horses seem be extra frisky and energized, it's probably because the weather feels much more comfortable to them than us, but it's just funny watching them having a really good day.

Well, Joshua was riding Phoenix, and I was pulling the lead rope, when suddenly, Pheonix shook out his fur really hard (like dogs do, if you never have been around a horse to know they do the exact same thing). I turned around right as he started to shake and the saddle(which isn't quite big enough for Phoenix) started moving back and forth real hard, and out comes Joshua rolling forward off the saddle, doing a complete flip in the air and lands flat on this butt before I could get ahold of him to keep him from diving off the saddle. Let me tell you, he was not a happy camper, he didn't get hurt, but it scared the crap out of him and he let out a blood curdling scream and began to cry. I had to pick him up and comfort him, and while I did that, I had to comfort Phoenix as well because he was worried about Joshua. Phoenix looked so upset about having Joshua fall off of him, and was all nuzzled up to Joshua and sniffing him trying to see if he was alright. It was so sweet. So we walked back down the lane and tied Phoenix to a post and gave him some hay, so Joshua could walk off his tears & fears, and we went into the barn and we got Phoenix some treats. Joshua fed Phoenix treats for the first time ever, and he was so happy when he realized Phoenix wasn't trying to be mean. They made up, and they went for another ride shortly there after.

It could have been much worse, Joshua could have gotten hurt, or even gained a fear of horses, but thankfully got right back up in the saddle when he calmed down. Phoenix and Joshua are so great together, I wish you guys could see them. I'm crossing my fingers that we can have Phoenix reign trained by Joshua 5th birthday next year, so I can bring him to Joshua's party and show him off, and may be give some pony rides. : )

4 Years With Joshua

As most of you know, Joshua turned 4 this past Sunday and we had a birthday party for him. I am so happy the day went like it should, even though some of you could not make it. The day did not start out that great though, there was a lot of stress in the air because Jodie did not get Joshua all he wished he could, but now that we look back, Joshua got PLENTY! It really does not seem like it has been four whole years since Joshua was born, it really seems surreal. Four years just flew by in a blink of an eye. I sit back and realize how crazy my life was before I found out I was pregnant with Joshua, and how my life is now so much greater because of him. Life was meaningless without him, and now he makes everyday better with his beautiful smile. I could not imagine a day with out him. He went from a beautiful green-eyed baby with peach fuzz for hair to a gorgeous greenish/brown-eyed little boy with beautiful blond curls in just a few short years. We've had a few issues along the way, from being born with clubbed-feet and year with casts & two foot correctional surgeries and a pin removal surgery, to a diagnosis of Autism which has explained his being behind in speech, social skills, and psychological skills. We may have had these problems along the way, but they were the best four years so far in my life.

The Most Beautiful Person I Have Ever Seen!

My Little Soldier After 2 Surgeries At 8 Months

Celebrating One Year With My Little Man!!!

Time For The Terrible Two's Already?!

Can It Be? He Is Three!!!
My Gorgeous 4 Year Old & His Cake!
He racked up on several new toys, books, & even a few new outfits this year!

This month has been rough on me, and I'm not going to deny that I haven't been exactly happy. For those of you who do not yet know, my doctor appointment did not goes well, I found out that we lost the baby. I spent about a week crying off and on. Usually triggered by someone asking about how I was doing or asking about the baby, and when I had nothing to preoccupy my thoughts. This is my second loss, my first pregnancy actually ended in a loss at 12 weeks, but I can tell you that it doesn't get any easier. It is still your child, someone you love and care about. A mother's love is really amazing, the moment she finds out she is pregnant, she falls in love all over again. There is no way to ever explain how it happens, it just happens. So now I am left with baby fever, and having to wait to try for another. Jodie wants to do it 'right' next time. It annoys the piss out of me that I have to wait.

I'm hoping that I can get everything in its place, so I can start school in the Spring, April 5, to be exact. I've already put in an online application, and I've got to file for my financial aid. Going back to school is the best thing I could ever do for Joshua and any of my children in the future. I am hoping that I will graduate in 2 years, that way I can go ahead and start trying for another baby. I don't want to be to much older having children. I'm hoping I can go ahead and get into the nursing program as soon as I finish more core classes, that way I don't have to wait forever to get things finished.

This past Friday, we finally got Joshua's diagnosis. He is High-Functioning Autistic. I did not cry like I thought I would, the diagnosis could have been a lot worse. They are predicting that in just a couple of years that 1 in every 10 children will be diagnosed with some form of autism. Right now, I do believe it is 1 in every 40 children. Science has come a long way since the first official diagnosis in the 1940's. British have known and acknowledge this disorder a lot longer that the US. The US finally acknowledged Autism as being a disorder in the 1980's. Imagine how many children and adults who have went undiagnosed through all these years. Imagine all the people who ended up in the insane asylums years ago, just because they think in a different way as that of an average person who is not on the specturm. A long time ago, different was not accepted, it was feared, and it is absolutely dreadful of what they did to the individuals that did not fit in with society. No one knows the reason for why Autism occurs, there are many different IDEAS of why it may happen, ideas from genetics, to pollution, to the MMR vaccination, brain damage from high fever, mercury in fish, etc... There is no cure, there are medications that those who have autism can take to help them better focus and to help them not act out as much.

If you suspect that there is something not quite normal with your child compared to other children his or her age, I would definately suggest looking into the cause. It takes so long to get an appointment to have a child tested that it is important to make an appointment as soon as possible. It will help make way for a child to get the help the need.

Joshua is about to turn 4 years old in a few days. He is getting so big, he's about 42in. tall & 42lb. He has come a long way with his speech and occupational therapy. He's talking more than he did just months 6 months ago. His vocabulary has increased. He's helping out more with chores, picking up toys & laundry. He is still taking riding lessons. Joshua's grandma bought him a pony, Pheonix, and a 8 month old cold, Expresso, for Christmas. It's one of his favorite activities. He still puts puzzles together, he has several 25 piece puzzles, but they are very easy for him. He's getting two 100 piece puzzles for his birthday that he does not know about, I'm pretty sure he will do well with them since he helped me with a 500 piece puzzle a couple of months ago. He loves Dr. Seuss, both books & movies. He's gotten into Care Bears as well, he already had Wish Bear & Bedtime Bear from when he was a baby, so I gave him my Friendship Bear I've had since I was 7 years old and my Grumpy Bear that I got for I think my 17th birthday. He's so cute, he holds them like babies and kisses them, and tucks them into bed, he's even attempted to feed them a few times. He loves Disney Cars, so we are going with that as his birthday theme again this year. He is also obsessed with Thomas the Tank Engine, which Thomas has been associated with children & adults with Autism. Check this website for more info on Thomas the Tank Engine & Children with Autism: http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=368&a=2683

Hopefully, we will have a year filled with memories of happiness, Joshua will start school hopefully in August, and I will as well be on my way to getting my RN. Wish us luck!